Sunday, August 15, 2010

My - Epic - Life In (Mostly) Pictures (Again)

Also titled: I had so much shit to do this week that I wanted to devote a blog post to that I got overwhelmed, panicked (complete with fetal position rocking) and now I have a lot of sweet I need to write about that's a little outdated but still worth mentioning because of it's epicness despite my inability to write entertainingly at the moment.

Part 1: The start of the most-viewed holiday special of all time*

It's the most...wonderfuul tiiiiime!

...of the yyyeeeaaarrr!

With the kids in terror yelling
And everyone telling you "TV's blocked by your rear"
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
It's the hap-happiest week of them all
With those seawater greetings and teeth-filled meetings
When sharks come to caaaallll!
It's the hap-happiest season of all!

In cast you missed it (loser), the week before last was shark week. Being the large nerds my friends and I are, we decided to make baked goods to commemorate the holiest of holy periods. Like Jewish people and their cracker bread.

*Yes, I count Shark Week as both one gigantic television special as well as asserts that Shark Week is, in fact, a holiday. Believe it.

Part 2: Continuation of Shark Week Festivities

I have already detailed my less than three feelings for god-awful movies on this blog, so it should surprise none of my lovely, beautiful readers that I celebrated SW2010 with such fare with my friends. May I present to you Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus:

The plot is simple enough: two giant prehistoric creatures (a Mega Shark and Giant Octopus, obvs) become unfrozen after an iceberg trapped them amid an ancient battle and begin terrorizing the globe. The finest scientists in the world (whose main skills are apparently having sex with one another and mixing test tubes filled with different colored liquids together) soon realize that only one thing can stop the terror: each other. This moment and many more like it (such as references to the creatures being horny after 100 million years).*

*Blogger's note: Someone at Unreality decided to calculate the speed, velocity, etc of the shark's jump in the above-posted video, and is worth a look just to marvel at the numbers.

There happened to be enough leftovers of the Shark Cake, but at this point it read "Happy Sh Week," and I deemed that an unenthusiastic celebration of quietness was not picture-worthy.

Part 3: War

I have a number of responses to different negative stimuli. When angrily confronted, I become defensive. When made fun of, I either say terrible things about the offender's mother/sister/general female ancestry or shut down. When I am, say, invited to my ex-girlfriend's going away shindig and (not surprisingly) semi-ignored after having the stones to attend, I generally do something immature and yet cool to remind myself how awesome I am, like not-at-all-silently lip synching along to every Queen or Tenacious D song ever made or buying a boatload of comic books.

This time around, I decided to meet up with a couple friends to throw down in the ultimate juvenile battlefield: Nerfdom. My weapon of choice? The N-Strike Recon, of course. Complete with scope, laser sight, and extra clip.


Also, this fight may have sprayed onto the streets, where we picked off some people we knew walking by the Chipotle we were sitting outside of. And may or may not have also been located at least in part inside of a grocery store. So there's that.

Part 4: I'm famous, bitchezzz

And now for the section that caused the load time for all of your browsers to quadruple...

As a few of you know, my partner Mike and I were two of the lucky few DJs at my college radio station that were selected to DJ at Chicago's biggest music festival, Lollapalooza, and here are a few pics of the 1.08 days I was there.

First, Gagapalooza on Friday night:

Yeah, that's pretty much as close as I got. I'm not a huge Lady Gaga fan, but seeing her live was more than worth skipping out on the Strokes for the evening (especially fo free). Particularly when she created a hairspray flamethrower onstage. Mike and I also got to simultaneously add and cross off doing the entirety of the "Bad Romance" dance live at one of her shows on or bucket lists.

The next day, Mike and I did our four hour shift (thanks for all of you who tuned in!)

Oh haiiiiii! ^_^

Mmmm banterlicious.

The Constellations, one of the nicest, most badass bands you'll ever meet, was kind enough to sit down for an interview with us. They were originally going to play a couple of songs for us, but their lead singer (left, next to the stunning, non-Asian gentleman in white) had lost his voice. Lame sauce.

The gloriously British Jamie Lidell. Kind of a combination of the Daily Show's John Olliver and Aldous Snow. The man has some serious soul to his singing, and I can't recommend enough that you give him a listen. He was so full of crazy energy, in fact, that during a "slow" song he broke the stool that he was sitting on because of how much he was shaking to the music:

Also, he soloed with an equally awesomely bearded man down in the crowd. Which was awesome.

We also got to make....

....wait for it....

Are you ready for this 90s kids?

Freaking' shrinky dinks.

And yes, I made one about the radio station. Not sucking up, just showing enthusiasm.

Spoon playing one of my favorite songs, 'The Underdog.'

Terrible picture of the fantastic Phoenix. Damn those Frenchies for putting on a swell show without me being able to get pictures.

So great success!

Part 4 Pt. 2: Laughing at protestors

Now, as I am from the state of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church (famous for their website, and protests of pretty much everything ever) AND being around one of the bigger gay communities in America, I've seen my fair share of ridiculous protests. And, like there is at anything worthwhile here in the Midwest, there was of course protestors outside of Lolla. As Mike and I were walking to go grab some Noodles & Company after our set, we saw a group espousing fairly generic "women should stay in the kitchens and not be allowed to vote/drive*" and "gay people suck**" and the like. We weren't really phased by it, only using it as fodder to make witty comments to attractive women standing right by us ("Like...oh mai gawwwd! Can you belieeeve thiss??").

*My time at an all-guys high school is telling me that I should make a joke here, but knowing full well that most of my readership is of the female persuasion, I shall refrain.


Until we saw this, that is.

Originally, our (my) nerd blood boiled. How DARE this man besmirch the good name of Star Wars in such a public place. Luke was only whiney because he wanted to go to the Toshi station to pick up some power converters! Darth Vader is one of the greatest villains of all time! Most people don't even consider the prequels to be real movies, let alone part of the canon! And who hasn't wanted to have a lightsaber or have the power to force choke a beyotch when you find their lack of faith disturbing?

But then we (I) realized something important: that this person, who claims to not like Star Wars, is already too far gone as a person to waste anger upon him. Clearly, he has no soul, and therefore should only be pitied. So we (both of us this time) took our free pita chips and hummus (in sketchy sandwich bags, but we thought nothing of it) and left giggling and thinking about how Han totally shot first (or I did).

Part 5: Costume Party

Unfortunately, there are no pictures available for this event, as almost none of them are appropriate, either because of nipple exposure (male, not mine), general drunkenness (bigendered, not me), and a gross sweat sheen (everyone, but particularly me). My costume did involve a Rick Astley t-shirt, so I'll let you use your imagination.

Part 6: Home

Pt. 1: KC Barbecue

An approximation not of how much food my family ordered, but instead how much I ate. Hooray meat.

Pt. 2: Starcraft 2

I had been counting down the months for this game to finally launch, then dragged my feet on buying it until a couple days ago, in part because I didn't have 60 bucks to spare and didn't want to be obsessed with it when I got to Rome (more on that later). Then three found Target gift cards and some peer pressure later from a friend later, I was the proud owner.


Pt. 3: SCOTT PILGRIM MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Something I had been REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY looking forward to, Edgar Wright's Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, based off of the comic book series that basically rules my life, finally came out on Friday. Unfortunately, I got in to Kansas City late, so I couldn't partake in the midnight showing, but went to the first available the next day. Possible review coming tomorrow if I have the time/energy/don't think it's too outdated.

Baww. Awkward love.


And so that's all for tonight/this morning folks. Hope it wasn't too rambly/giant/offensive, but it's 4am so I'm getting the hell to bed. I promise that I'll blog more ofte....

...wait, what's the date?


Um, so...

Apparently I leave for Rome in 10 days now. Still don't have a visa, or even all of my stuff together. Plus still have 3 more orientations the next week and a half, plus office hours every day.

Ho boy.


The Shanner of Attention said...

I love Lady Gaga so consider this blog "liked".

soft nonsense said...

I'm glad that Facebook liking has become so pervasive that people (yours truly included) do it to things that are unlikable.


Pat Tillett said...

Wow! I don't even know where to start! You have been so busy! Sounds like a lot of fun. The thing sticks in my mind is the shark/plane encounter. That may have been the worst ever.
My 7 year old granddaughter DVRs all of shark week. It's good middle ground for us. Although I think she's waiting for sponge bob to appear.

Sadako said...

Yay for shark wee! And sheet cake.

Anonymous said...

shove a tampon up your vagina and grow up!

Eleni said...

Did the joke have to do with the fact that men get in more car accidents than women? Because that one's kind of funny. Anyway, how dare that guy attack Star Wars! And those guys are seriously still protesting women voting? I think they're a little late on that issue.

I saw Scott Pilgrim vs. the World this weekend. So, so awesome. Quirky, sweet, and hilarious. I haven't read the comic books, though, so I'm interested in what you have to say about it.

soft nonsense said...

Pat - SpongeBob would probably have made a better host this year than Craig Ferguson....I love him, but he was baaaaaad....

Sadako - Shark wee IS the best. Smelly, but fun.

Anon - I didn't know that a tampon insertion into a vagina triggers spontaneous puberty. I'll have to ask my girl friends bout that. Also, if you're going to be spazzy, at least don't do it anonymously so that we can appreciate it fully.

Eleni - I haven't decided what to write about it yet, I think I"m going to go see it again tomorrow and roll from there. Glad a non-previous fan enjoyed it though!

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