Monday, May 17, 2010

Scenes From an Apartment

QUICK PAUSE THE VIDEO!!!!



(Good.)

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As many of your know (though, judging by the comments on my "return to blogging" post, maybe that isn't the case), I recently moved into a new apartment. My roommate and I channeled our inner bargainers and got $200 knocked off a three bedroom apartment with a ballin' view and got a third friend to sublet for the summer. In short, we were set:




With excellent views...





But, obviously it doesn't make afor a good blog post to simply toot my own horn. And if I considered it to be a good one, likely none of you would be reading anything that I've been writing. This apartment, as with many things in life, has a catch. In all its splendor, what with its super Eastern European landlord and 15th floor view, it discriminates against m lifestyle. That's right everybody, I, soft nonsense, am calling discrimination and shenanigans. Behold the sign adorning one of the elevators:



Now, to the untrained eye, the sign may simply be espousing a ban upon smoking.

Nay nay.

It in fact has nothing to do with smoking. Besides, igarettes are pretty gross. Instead, note the picture itself...through the use of subliminal messaging (aided by the crudely drawn line, no doubt written by the Man) a statement is very clearly made:



Still don't see the disturbing amount of hatred toward the American way? Maybe this will help.



Still no? Well hold on to your horses, blog friends.



THAT'S RIGHT LADIES AND GENTS.

NO PIE.

I love this apartment, but....

*cue above video*

I think I've made a huge mistake.

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NMM!

For your enjoyment:

A classic song that if you don't know the words to, you probably aren't truly living.

14 comments:

Pat Tillett said...

They'll take my pie, when they pry it from my whipped cream covered fingers...
bastards!

Pat Tillett said...

Oh yeah, nice digs!

Eleni said...

Nice. You have a better view of the water than I have...
http://rpgcalledlife.blogspot.com/2009/08/room-with-ocean-view.html

But no pie! The horror!

Shannon said...

i could live without pie, but if that was a no PIZZA pie sign, i'd pack up and move. immediately. my life would suck without pizza.

soft nonsense said...

@Pat - I suppose they're hoping that cake will be able to fill the void, but I think they underestimate us....the rebellion shall begin soon.

@Eleni - Based off of what I've seen, that much of a view in Hawaii is better than any view in Chicago.

@Shannon - It may be a cruel dictatorship, but they're not stupid: this is prime college real estate. No pizza means starving tenants, which means a bad smell of dead college students, which means fewer older, more responsible, and less pizza-inclined people would want to live here.

The Illustrious D said...

Now, I'm not much a pie man, as anyone on my blog or in my boudoir may attest, but I will support you, my pie-eating friend, in any and all endeavors you undertake regarding your gastronomical orientation.

Plus, my Eastern European building manager is a total bitch. Solidarity, my brutha.

Charley Quinn said...

haha i didnt see it until the very end, thats just awesome. and you are right, a ban like that is a real buzz kill.

also, the childhood pics kept me fully entertained. it takes a big man to don drag. and you are big man. (incidentally, i hear this is why certain pics were censored. i am not a judgemental man, softy, and i feel i have earned my right to see a fully uncensored version of your childhood.

you may not have read that right.

soft nonsense said...

@D - You, once again, prove yourself to be the best.

@CQ - Oh. I read it right.... ;)

Shannon said...

patiently waiting for a "chinstrap" focused blog.....

Melissa said...

GET OUT. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAAAAAN.

(Found you on 20SB's Nerdy Girls and Boys front page, hi!)

soft nonsense said...

@Shannon - And I'm waiting for the time/energy/inspiration for ANY blog post of my own. So there's that.

@Melissa - DAMN THE LEGALLY BINDING LEASE! Though I suppose I could just claim that I was misinformed and it was a breach of contract...

Thanks for stopping by! As previously stated, I apologize for the lack of updates :/

Amber said...

Hilarious.

And thanks for bringing One Week back into my life. I've just realized that all these years later I STILL remember ever single word.

Pat Tillett said...

My place tomorrow in the am (my time). New original bling for you.
be there

soft nonsense said...

@Amber - Once I spent an entire hour staring at the lyrics to this song/keeping it on repeat and practicing. I would be ASHAMED of myself if I ever forgot them.

@Pat - Damn, guess that means I have to update...

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