Wednesday, May 26, 2010

And Rise It Shall

*SSSSHHHHAAAAMMMMEEEE*

I could spout off all sorts of excuses for my blogging absence. Like starting a new job, and moving into a new apartment (still not unpacked yet.... ><), and disturbingly large bug infestations and...um...well that's it.

But I won't.

Instead, I'll just jump right back into the swing of things (though apologize for the huge amount of parentheses, tangents, incoherence, and misspellings that will ensue. I'm damn tired).

Readygo.

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I have some good stuff worked up for the next couple days, including the possibility of a "serious" post *GASP* (working around my weekend trip back home for the brosef's grad party), but I wanted to ease myself back into the blog world first with something that I was reminded of during training for the aforementioned new job.

As I've said previously here on soft nonsense, I am employed by my school as an orientation leader (the fools hired me back for a second summer). My job is to welcome all the scared little freshies and apathetic transfer students to the university, make them feel welcome, give them a good impression, yadda yadda yadda. As the school's first line of defense, we have to know a whole lot about, well, a whole lot. Student advising, financial aid, all that good stuff. But at the end of the day it boils down to making new students comfortable, no matter their background. As such, we are (rightfully) required to have diversity training.

We began by saying our names, years, major, and an interesting fact about ourselves. My interesting fact is generally that I lead a rather uninteresting life. Answers vary between my large autograph collection, the span of my nerdiness, the fact that my high school football team was was nationally ranked by ESPN, or that I was tutored by my friend (who actually put off going to college to go study in a Korean Shaolin Temple in tae kwan do for a semester until he got into a Vespa accident that sidelined him for a few months and gave him the appearance of a kung fu villain:

Moral of the story: almost die, and you too can look more badass.

Then we got to talking about race and sexual orientation and whatnot (an interesting talk, considering one of the biggest inside jokes in our group is saying "Oh my God, that's so RACIST" after things that are, in fact, not in the least). And all this (my nerdiness and racism) reminded me of possibly the greatest idea for a movie ever conceived by man. My best friend, another zombie/kung fu enthusiast, found this back in high school, showed it to me, and changed my life forever.

May I introduce to you "The South Will Rise Again"



Yes. You saw that right. Karate + Zombies + Stereotypes + Meaningless Explosions = Cinematic Gold.

Unfortunately, the video's creators never got their surprisingly well-made trailer off the ground, and according to the Internets their site has been shut down and the group hasn't updated their MySpace since 2005.

But by God, a man can still dream.

4 comments:

The Illustrious D said...

Maybe that'll be my new tag line.

Fleekin Floygn: Oh my God, that's so RACIST.

Welcome back. Don't do it again.

Eleni said...

Haha, that trailer is crazy. Very crazy. Very, very crazy.

And I love the idea of using "that's so racist". Might have to try it out...but people probably wouldn't understand.

soft nonsense said...

@D - I'd be honored. And that's what you said last time.

@Eleni - If by crazy, you mean crazy awesome.

My favorite line:

"Karate ain't about kickin' ass. It's about right and wrong."

The Illustrious D said...

THEN STOP DOING IT

*cough*

I'll just be in the time out chair...

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