Sunday, April 4, 2010


Well, eat it y'all.

That's right, in addition to being an award-winning journalist (legit bitchezzzz), I am now an award-winning BLOGGER:

Drink it in. Hell, drink ME in:

Yeah, that's the stuff. One more:



In all seriousness, I was somewhat taken aback when blog-hero of mine Patrick Tillett, who routinely talks about his time in Vietnam, his time on LSD, his (MULTIPLE o_O) accidental arrests on felony charges, and general badassery. Sure, I had always secretly hoped and dreamed for one of these, but never allowed myself to dream too big*. If I ever got one, I was sure, it wouldn't be for a long, long few more months of toiling.

*I briefly (read: roughly 4 seconds) tried to convince myself that it was just a chain letter of sorts. But fuck that, I have one, so I'll mess up whoever thinks it ain't legit.

Even now, I fully recognize that Pat has already been given at least eight awards, and therefore has likely given out at least 32 awards, possibly up to 50. So I'm pretty far down the list of awesomeness. On the other hand, Pat's a fantastic blogger, so he recognizes greatness, right?


Anywho, I'm supposed to list off five random/interesting (possibly mutually exclusive?) facts about myself. Here goes:

1) I'm an avid movie freak, yet feel as though I've seen more parts of movies than actual movies.

Whenever I see a movie on TV that I've never watched before, I ask myself a) How long has it been running? If it's any more than 10 minutes then no dice. I'm in it for the whole package. And b) Is it rated R? Not because I'm a pantywaist who doesn't enjoy a good "restricted audience" movie (though I've been known to be the biggest squirmer/gasper in horror movies...), but because, once again, I'm in it for the whole package. I naturally assume all of the good stuff has been cut out, so I'm forced to skip out.

2) I have mild (completely undiagnosed and mostly made-up) OCD.

It used to be much worse back when I was little, but I still have weird little quirks about me. For example, I always try to chew the same amount of the same kind of food. So if I had 5 M&Ms, instead of eating 2 on the left and 3 on the right, you better believe that that last one is getting split in half, preferably with each side getting a red, yellow, and half a green. Or, if I'm fake-playing piano on some hard surface and one of my fingers is used less than the others, I'll feel physically uncomfortable until the injustice is rectified. Same goes with walking up stairs (I'll skip the last step if it was an uneven amount, so that each leg gets equal amount of climb-age). Not exactly Monk or Melvin Udall stuff, but still. Random/interesting.

3) My high school's football team was ranked in ESPN's top-25 at the end of the season my senior year.

4) I STILL have yet to have a real job...

So far my job experiences amount only to summer orientation-leading for my school last summer and this one, heavy volunteering at the radio station, and co-editing for the newspaper. Feel free to call me unproductive or what have you, but senior year of HS I applied to 10 jobs, and never heard back from any of them. So there's that.

5) I was an orch dork.

That's right. Before I was slappin' da bass, mon, I was elegantly bowing it. I rarely practiced outside of class (mostly due to my bad experience whilst learning piano back in the day and my general laziness) so I never really developed as well as I should have, but I somehow managed to fool a few judges* into letting me play a solo at a state competition my junior year and make the all-district orchestra my senior year. Most of my memories are of making fun of our teacher, quoting South Park in class, getting to leave early for lunch, and hitting people with the ultimate instrument (ha! that was punny) of orchestral destruction, the bass bow:

*Sexual favors may or may not have been involved.


Well that turned out slightly braggy. Apologies. Still, here are the five bloggers I'd like to pass the award along to:

Fleekin' Floygn - One of my oldest followers (not in age, in longevity), is at his best when telling long rambling posts containing much funny.

nostomanic - A girl whose nerdiness is on par with mine and whose awesomeness far exceeds what I can offer.

The Psychology of Video Games - A psychological look at the world of video games. Duh. One of the bloggers I featured in my feature story for the paper a few weeks back.

Wolf Gnards - Another blogger I featured on the above story, but his stuff is too awesome to not get continuously plugged.

Memoirs of a Korean - Another name that's fairly descriptive as to its subject material, has told both heartbreaking and hilarious (mostly the latter) stories about his life. Also, if you're a LOST fan, then you'll love his weekly recaps.


And there we have it ladies and gents. I had an Easter post planned, but that will come later tonight or tomorrow before Girlfriend comes back from her extended absence. Be sure to check out those bloggers and comment!


Hey! Look Behind You! said...

I have the same number 1 & 2. Only my OCD is like a organizing kink. When I pass by my co workers' desk and I see something out of place, I HAVE to fix. I put staplers, candy jars, paper work all in a neaty order. I can't help it.

Pat Tillett said...

This post truly validates the wisdom of my selection...
In other words; you are funny as hell!

soft nonsense said...

@Hey - That sounds like a wonderful OCD superpower. I'm afraid the weird chewing/stepping/unmentioned car habits also happen to be fairly unproductive. I seem to have the opposite of OCD in the organization sense. Or maybe my OCD curse in that aspect is that I feel weird being unorganized.

@Pat - Too kind sir, too kind. I nearly scrapped this post after reading it due to extreme rambling with a hint of strange aggression thrown in, but I guess it wasn't all bad.

Wolf Gnards said...

Thanks for plugging the gnards. We at gnards believe gnards should be spread, generously and vigorously, to the people.

Kate said...

I'm with you 100% on the OCD bit. I can't leave some fingers un-tapped on the desk!

Ps, from 20sb, def following.

CharleyQuinn said...

well its about damn time you got some public recognition for your fine collection of creative humor and insight. on another note, i would like to point out that i knew exactly where your link was taking me and was very happy to see some classic "i love you man".
also, the OCD struck too close to home w/ me, as well. i was very amused to hear of your burden involving even numbers and symmetry.

soft nonsense said...

@Wolfie - Sir, I'll always be happy to spread your gnards all over my blog. Or really anywhere.

@Kate - Than you very much. I always appreciate new followers!

@CQ - Wow. Thanks so much for giving me the warm fuzzies :) That's all I can really say without tarnishing my BA, hard-knock image.

Tony said...

Howdy! Thanks for the award, man!

soft nonsense said...

Nothing you don't deserve sir. Thanks for the courtesy follow ;) lol

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