Thursday, April 29, 2010

National BA Day

I had to fill in for someone at the station today despite a fifth straight night of 3-4 hours of sleep. I knew I wouldn't have the energy to blab too much on air, and had recently gotten the "Cage the Elephant" CD, so I decided that I'd go with a theme:

May I present to you, the new holiday of holidays:

National Bad Ass Day.

Today is dedicated not only to any and all true, always BAMFy people out there, but also the hard-core SOB that lies within each of us.* I decided to create a playlist of songs that one can get out, listen to, and put a little swagger in your hardass self for a day. So if you're interested, I linked the songs on the playlist that have that special "in-your-face, I'm going to kick your ass because I fucking feel like it" quality so you, my lovely (obviously BAMFy) readers, can give them an electronic spin.

*Some of us lie deeper than others.

The White Stripes - Icky Thump
Them Crooked Vultures - New Fang
Against Me - Thrash Unreal
The Dandy Warhols - Bohemian Like You
The Asteroids Galaxy Tour - Around the Bend
The Clash - Rudie Can't Fail
Cage the Elephant - Ain't No Rest For The Wicked
The Heavy - How You Like Me Now?
BOAT - Lately (I've Been On My Back)
Modest Mouse - Dashboard
MGMT - Song for Dan Treacy
The Apples In Stereo - Dream About The Future
Johnny Cash - Ain't No Grave
Dr. Dog - Stranger


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Unfortunately, most of my posts for the next 4-5 days are going to be either nonexistant or short and sweet. I have 2 papers to do for tomorrow, 2 meetings during the course of the day today, then a 10-12 page paper and a final to get ready for on Monday. All that on roughly a week of being sick and lack of sleep.

College is the best.

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***EDIT***

I was thinking about making this it's own separate post, but I decided to throw down my BAMFery right here.

17 pages
13.5 hours
$1.19 in printing fees
45 minute embarrassing nap in the middle of the library

2 mutha fuckin essays:





Now, off to get my well-deserved 3.5 hours of sleep. And good news for y'all coming soon.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Some Blog Math

I've devised this handy equation to explain my recent blog post pattern (with liberal definition and usage of the rules of the order of operations):

((F+R) + ((N+A) / S) x G + DE)PX = B

Wherein -

F= days Father in town for visiting
N= number of pages in this week's issue of the newspaper
A= articles written by yours truly for the paper
S= average hours of sleep per night in past week
G= days with cold (G for gross)
D= number of half-finished posts from this week that are currently sitting in my "edit posts" box
E= number of times an electronic device has broken, necessitating a trip downtown
P= passports required to apply for
X= number of cooperative Athletic Directors, who are more than happy to give you the numbers I need to write my column this week
R = number of study abroad applications to Rome I needed to turn in
B= number of blog posts published so far

Here are the values for this week's equation:

F= 7 days of Father
N= 11 pages in this week's issue
A= 6 articles
S= 3 hours of sleep per night
G= 4 days of a cold
D= 4 half-finished drafts
E= 3 electronics broken (computer charger twice, cell phone once)
P= 1 passport
R= 1 abroad application
X= 0 cooperative Athletic Directors

And so, through simple substitution, we will find our answer:

((F+R) + ((N+A) / S) x G + DE)PX = B

((7+1) + ((11+6) / 3) x 4 + (4 x 3))(1 x 0) = B
(8 + ((5.6666) x 4 + 12)(0) = B
8 + (22.6666 + 12)(0) = B
34.6666 + 8 x 0 = B
0 = B

Hooray mathematics.

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And since I missed the two most important holidays in soft nonsense blogdom, here there are in a double whammy post (not in order of importance, but more in order of coolness):

AS HEARD ON THE RADIO!

Unicycle Loves You - Highway Robbery
Free Energy - Free Energy
Thao With the Get Down Stay Down - Swimming Pools
Rotary Downs - Wild Pink in Super 8
The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir - ...And The Horse You Rode In On
The Strokes - When It Started
La Strada - The Traveler
Adam Green - What Makes Him Act So Bad
Freelance Whales - Generator^First Floor
Dr. Dog - Stranger
Wolfie - The All Good People
The Asteroids Galaxy Tour - The Sun Ain't Shining No More
Portugal. The Man - The Dead Dog
The Natural History - Telling Lies Will Get You Nowhere
M.I.A. - Paper Planes
The Faint - I Disappear


aaannnnddd....

NOSTALGIC MUSIC MONDAY!

Another user-suggested one (albeit one I was going to do anyway), this time by Dominique, a one-time visitor (hoping she comes back...). I can't tell you how many impressions, late night driving rockouts, bad mosh pit-esque dancing, and quotes of

"EMIILLLIOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

that this song has brought. Do enjoy this special version, or the classic version. Or, really, both. I know I will.



Friday, April 23, 2010

The World According to Infomercials

I'm a big fan of infomercials. And by infomercials, I mean making fun of infomercials. The slap chop, the slanket, the Obama Chia Pet*, the ShamWow, the BumpIt....all of them faves. While my father has occasionally indulged in the purchase of various "As Seen on TV" products, I know better. But damn, those commercials are entertaining.

*Now with extra racism!

I enjoy them so much that I even watched the Discovery Channel show "Pitchmen" (before it's untimely cancellation due to the death of the king of killer products himself, Billy Mays*). I occasionally mute commercials when I'm watching TV with friends and whatnot to foster conversation and prevent myself from hearing the same god damn Old Spice commercial with Terry Crews (which, despite being directed by Tim and Eric, known for their work in Tim and Eric, was only funny the first time I saw it). However, I'm known to unmute it if any favorite ones came on.

*Fun fact: pallbearers at his funeral wore blue shirts and khaki pants, and he was buried in a shirt with the OxyClean logo on it.

And now, a wonderful man/woman/thing named kickintheheadcomic has combined two of my favorite things: Youtube and incompetent people who need things like stairs for their pets:



Thank you, infomercials, for giving us an in-depth look into how disturbingly (and dangerously) incompetent we all are, and how your product is likely the only thing that can save our hair from being un-poofed, our towels from being unwearable (a.k.a. robes) and our golf games being interrupted by something as silly as using the bathroom.

Happy Friday everybody.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The NFL Draft Drinking Game

First of all, it appears the populous has spoken. Last post, I asked people to comment and vote on how I should commemorate my 50th post, and the consensus seems to have been childhood pictures. Creeps. So I'll soon be sending an e-mail to Mother to get a few more adorable* pictures of my glorious childhood, so that should be coming soon.

*/Humiliating.

But that's for another time.

I have a few rules here at SN. Keep people anonymous and unembarrassed unless I get permission (after all, this blog is far, far more entertaining to write when its filled with self-deprecation). Post a few times a week at least. No Facebook spamming (of this blog at least). Be genuine. Weekly Scott Pilgrim updates are required. Put in as much sexual innuendo, colorful language, and over-the-top story and word choices as possible. Use the blog as a way to procrastinate and complain about tiredness. No insinuation of a reader's mental state of being is subpar. The less racism the better.

General stuff.

But I have one other rule: don't post anything from the newspaper as a blog post. Not only do I recognize that most people probably don't want to read what I think about in the sports world, but I feel like it's a bit of a cop-out. I started this blog in part to explore my creativity, and if I'm just recycling material, I wouldn't be doing justice to myself, this blog, or my readers.

....That being said, I'm probably going to be posting two of them in the next week or so. Teehee!

I'll start with next week. I'm just about to call Spencer Walker from Cook to Bang for an interview for the paper (look, Ma, I'm a real journalist!). I cited him as one of my favorite bloggers in an older story I did for Girlfriend, so I sent him an e-mail to let him know he was being appreciated and whatnot. We got to talking, he mentioned he's coming out with a book in the next couple weeks and so a few exchanges and a manuscript later, I'm reviewing his new cook book. If you're not familiar with his work, jump to that website and get acquainted. It's funny shit. Or buy the book when it comes out. Or read the story I post next week. Preferably all of the above.

Second, for my column this week I decided to cover one of my favorite events in sports - the NFL Draft. I love the months of speculation leading up to it, the excitement, the hope, the disappointment, all that junk. So I decided to create my own mock draft (approximately the 590,490,234th created this year), and it turned out splendidly. I'd be more than happy to post it sometime or send you the link to it on the website.

However, I also realize that I'm likely in a minority. Not everyone likes sitting around for a couple hours while 32 teams take their full 15 minutes to decide who they want. I'll admit: it can get old pretty quick (I'm thinking for some it would be preferable to attempt to saw one's arm off with a house key). So keeping that in mind (along with the fact that my audience is largely a bunch of college students), I created a masterpiece: 100 Percent Awesome, Potentially Dangerous Alcohol-tastic NFL Draft Drinking Game.**

**DISCLAIMER: Soft Nonsense does not recommend playing this game in its entirety. Therefore, Soft Nonsense takes no responsibility for any health problems that may ensue if said game is not abridged for actual social drinking purposes. Also, Soft Nonsense in no way promotes underage drinking. Seriously.

I'm not actually a drinker (the stuff generally tastes pretty gross to my lame palate), but I figured my readers both here at school and on the blogosphere would enjoy it. So be sure to tune in on Thursday, crack open a cold one, and play along:

TAKE A DRINK ANYTIME ...

- There’s a cutaway to a team’s war room
- You hear “On the clock”
- Chris Berman comes up with a ridiculous nickname
- You see a commercial with boobs, beer or a Manning (Peyton, Eli or Archie)
- If two of three, drink twice
- If all three, drink three times
- If two Mannings plus one of the others, finish drink
- There is an awkward shot of an uncomfortable player who has to wait too long to get picked
- Chris Berman makes an awkward voice-over joke
- Jets or Eagles fans boo
- You can’t understand Shannon Sharpe (Note: may actually become easier as the game goes on)
- Lurz Blurbz’s mock draft is right
- Tim Tebow is drafted
- Another if described as “tremendous,” high-character, stand-up guy, leader, etc.
-Someone mentions the fact that Tom Brady was drafted in the sixth round
-The Raiders draft someone who is known more for athleticism or speed rather than actual talent
- Double if anyone in the viewing party says “Who?”
- Chris Berman uses his weird growling voice
- Double if phrase is “RAIDAHZZ”
- Mel Kiper has an in-depth analysis of a seventh-round pick that he can’t possibly know that much about …
- There is a cutaway that compares Mel Kiper and Todd McShay’s opinion
- A player from a college you’ve never heard of is drafted
- The word “guru” is used

BUZZWORDS

Any time these are said about a prospect, take a drink:
- character issues
- best player available
- drafting for need
- tremendous upside
- physical specimen
- cannon
- workout warrior
- freak
**Double if said by Mel Kiper**

SPECIAL CASES

- Must raise cups during any human interest story
- Must stand any time it’s “your team” on the clock
- Must finish drink if anyone wonders aloud how Mel Kiper got his hair to stay like that
- Must bow mockingly whenever “Bill Belichick” is mentioned
- Must finish if there is a draft day trade for a player

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Enjoy. Responsibly of course.

Oh yeah, almost forgot: As Heard On the Radio!

Gorillaz - Re-Hash
Mos Def - Quiet Dog Bite Hard
Passion Pit - The Reeling
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Beat the Devil's Tattoo
Matt & Kim - I'll Bring Us Home
Alice Donut - Lorelei & Henry
The Apples in Stereo - Dream About the Future
The Pixies - Where is My Mind?
Flight of the Conchords - The Most Beautiful Girl (In the Room)
Aloha - Searchlight
Modest Mouse - Ocean Breathes Salty
Dr. Dog - Shadow People
Feist - 1 2 3 4
Stanley Ross - Here With Me
The Salts - Broomstick Rock Star

Monday, April 19, 2010

Two Score and Ten Posts Ago....pt. 1 (VOTE!)

Well everybody, I've hit the half-century mark. The big Five Oh. That's right, I've been around for 50 posts across these three-ish months. I've touched on everything from zombies to comic books to Pat Robertson to Man Top Fives to awkward tampon runs. I've waxed poetic and nostalgic and pretty much any other topic that can be waxed (albeit not yet cars, candles, or bikini lines - none of which I will ever claim to be an expert on). I've followed nearly 40 blogs and had 20-some people follow mine (without losing any! - ....yet...).

And as I was trying to think what I could do to commemorate the occasion, all I really knew was that I wanted to avoid more sappy $hit, which I've done too much of lately. On the other hand, I wanted to do something somewhat noteworthy (aside from this week's NMM), and tossed around a few ideas. Being the gracious and glorious leader that I am, I decided that I'd put it to a vote!*

*Has nothing to do with the fact that I couldn't decide. Nnnnnooope. None at all.

So here are the choices:

1) Childhood pictures of myself, with (likely) glorious commentary
2) A "best of" post
3) soft nonsense facts (50?)
4) Favorite YouTube videos of all time
5) Reader Write-Ins (think Miss Manners, Savage Love, and Ask Ashley all rolled into one)
6) Other (some badass suggestion)

I won't create a poll, as waiting a week for the votes to come in might be a bit retroactive in a commemorative post, but comment away, I'll tally the votes/best arguments, and roll from there.

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Tune in tomorrow/this week for pretty much the most heartbreaking story of all time. And no, it has nothing to do with the Double Down.

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Finally, NOSTALGIC MUSIC MONDAY!!!!!

This week's is a submission by another lovely reader, Kate. An old favorite, and truly the first rap song that I ever knew the lyrics to. Mostly due to its high degree of high frequency of repitition and gutteral sounds, such as "uh" and "yeah" and "huh." But still, an accomplishment.



Also, this movie gave me a sneak preview to my boyhood/teenage/early twenties crush on Salma Hayek. Mmmm mmmm.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Geek By Proxy

I've had a hard time blogging as of late, both in finding the time and in finding the inspiration. Hopefully life will slow down just a bit the next week or so before naturally jump starting back up again with finals. But still, I promise to do better :)

Unfortunately, as I mentioned in my last post, all this stress and busyness has been debilitating to no only my blogging, but also my social life. I had to miss the Regional Air Guitar Championships Thursday night, plus various other social gatherings that I've had to say "no" or "meh" to due to the need to work or sheer exhaustion*.

*One of the few things this week I was able to do was go to the beach with Girlfriend and play Scrabble and whatnot (with none of this "proper noun" bull sheet). Unfortunately, this merriment came with the lesson that sand, much like herpes or the word "FUCK" written in pen on a white wall, is never really gone**. My bedsheets are proof.

**Also, I only know of one of the two examples being true. I'll allow for you to giggle at whatever choice you decide to make.


But the most egregious, heart-wrenching part of my disturbingly busy weekend was that I was forced to miss an all-day nerd-a-thon at the Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo (C2E2).



Here it was, my first ever comic convention. I could finally take that step into the nerd-dom mecca. But unfortunately, studying abroad is expensive, and my job had a training session all day Saturday. My chance to be among my adoptive kind was stolen from me.

Luckily, two of my roommates did go, and they more than made up for me. Our collective comic book collection went from only five of the current Scott Pilgrims to, well...



This.

To be fair, most of them were free at the Con. My personal purchases were "The Dark Knight Returns," a comic about what Batman would be like in his late 40s after a decade of retirement and a pair of Joss Whedon X-Men books (as suggested by dear reader Amber).


Front.


And back.

Booyah.

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Also, I added the "best of" thingmajig on the side bar. If you're relatively new here and haven't creeped all over this blog (wouldn't blame you), then those are some of my personal favorite, semi-ranked. Hope you enjoy.

And tell your friends.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Up Up and Away! Well Sort Of....

Well, I've now taken a few days off of blogging to write essays, gather my thoughts, and put together a nightmare of a newspaper section, but now I'm back. Hooray.

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As I was pondering what I should write about (My work's asshole move to schedule a meeting ALL DAY tomorrow, thus comic cockblocking me from the Chicago Comic Expo this weekend....BASTARDS!) or about how tonight's terrible headache derailed my plans to go to the Regional Air Guitar Championships (thereby destroying two ballin' blog posts). I even contemplated blogging about the weather/my day on the beaches of Chicago playing Scrabble with Girlfriend.

But then I found the jackpot.

Now, my descent into comic book fandom, while relatively new, has been fairly well-documented on this blog. And though I'm still undecided as to how deeply I'm going to allow myself to free fall into said fandom, I'm certainly wrapped up in it for the moment*, and I'd be kind of okay if it didn't go away for awhile.

*To put it in perspective, I was already thinking ahead as to whether I would be able to buy comics when I'm abroad in Rome next semester. Yeah, it's that bad.

Buuuuuuut this might be a little too far.

This article from the New York Post, talks about some real-life superheroes in New York City, sporting monikers such as "Dark Guardian," "Life," "Cameraman," and the "Phantom Zero."

They are known as "RLSH" - Real Life Super Heroes.

You read that right folks. I was naturally intrigued, and decided to do a little research. I Googled "real life super heroes," and was, well, surprised at the results.

May I present to you: The World Superhero Registry.

Now, with "Kick Ass" coming out, there has been a lot of media coverage of real life vigilantes, mostly as a joke or series of hypothetical questions. But these guys do it for real. Some of my favorites:

Green Scorpion



Reason 1 to like him: He listens to Tenacious D on patrol
Reason 2: Says sweet things like "Eventually, everyone has the opportunity to awaken and become who they always wanted to be. Some people just hit the snooze button and go back to sleep."
Reason 3: A sweet costume that he paid the next guy $1500 bucks to make, including "a belt buckle with a logo and also a stinger, a weapon with interchangeable end pieces and an ornate handle. [...] The stinger does a number of things, he says, 'some of which are legal. One end piece is simply a light. There's also a pepper spray head and a stun gun. But Scorpion, again, won't give away all his secrets. It's stupid to let the villains know what you're working with."

Awesome.

Professor Widget



Custom-builds suits, accessories, weaponry, etc for budding superheroes. Not even his clients know who he is or where he is located. Kind of a combination of Dr. Horrible and Edna Mode. In case anyone is interested, I'd love a bodysuit with mask, wrist-mounted grappling hooks, with various non-leathal projectiles with explosive charges. Just no capes.

Dark Guardian



It's cool that he does MMA or whatever and legitimately seems like he could kick the hell out of the vast majority of the human population, but mostly it takes a whole lot of iron cajones to operate in New York City kicking drug dealers out of parks and whatnot.

Angle Grinder Man



This vigilante from England carries around a gigantic electric saw around with him during night patrols. Assumingly, not many people mess with him. However, his arch-enemy is one that rarely fights back: car clamps. Angle Grinder Man goes around Kent, "liberating" cars with boots on them from their governmental oppressors.

Red Arrow



With the ability to point and be Japanese!

The Eye



Seemingly just and old guy who knows kung fu and creates his own light-based crime fighting gadgets. No big or anything.

Geist



Just straight up has the sweetest costume out there. plain and simple.

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There are a bajillion more on the list that I feel deserve mention (such as Polar Man, who shovels the sidewalks of the elderly, and Shadow Hare, the leader of the Allegiance of Heroes and seems super, duper nerdy in this video here).

And while most of these guys don't actually go around and kick the butts of supervillians (many admit that they've never actually stopped a crime), they still try to stand for hope in the community. They use their public notoriety to raise money for charity and often go around and handout food and toiletries to the poor and homeless. Basically, they're simply good Samaritans who happen to choose to dress up in odd spandex.

And hey, who could have a problem with that?

I'll be lame and ask it: what would your super power/alter ego be?

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Finally, my last playlist (all of, what....four days old? I promise I'm going to start blogging again....)


Rogue Wave – Lake Michigan
Helicopter Helicopter – At the Bottom of the Ocean
Title Tracks – Every Little Bit Hurts
Think About Life – Sofa Bed
Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin – Modern Mystery
Death Cab for Cutie – Crooked Teeth
Apples In Stereo – Dream About the Future
Supergrass – Alright
Of Montreal – Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games
The Flaming Lips – The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
Architecture in Helsinki – The Owls Go
Dr. Dog – Stranger
Free Energy – Free Energy
Dum Dum Girls – Bhang Bhang, I’m a Burnout
YACHT – Psychic City
Aloha – Searchlight


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P.S. - Yes, I did post this at 4 am on a weeknight. Hope Girlfriend doesn't see this....

Damn sleep schedule.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Lifer's Block

As my overly sappy (and apparently unpopular) post a couple days ago alluded, I love blogging. It gives me an outlet for creativity and a way to connect with an audience (albeit a small, somewhat nerdy one*). It helps me hash out my thoughts, makes me a better writer by actually forcing/guilting me into writing, gives me a community to be a part of, all the usual mumbo jumbo. But, really, one of my favorite parts about being a blogger is that it makes me look at my life differently (which sounds pretty lame).

*And that's why I love you.

Originally, I talked about my life much less than I do now, mostly because I didn't view my life as extremely interesting. I knew/hoped people would like hearing about what happened to the Red Power Ranger, Scott Pilgrim*, and all that stuff. But soon, as I read more and more blogs, I began shifting my mindset. I began trying to look at everything in my life as a potential blog post, and I've gotten some of my best stuff out of it (most notably the now-infamous epic of "the tampon run"

*Or fooled myself into thinking they wanted to hear about Scott Pilgrim. Coming out July 20, and in theaters August 20.

So the question is, what the hell do I blog about when my life is boring as fuck?

I've already done my "memory photoblog" post. Done my cheesy post. Don't really have any major events to blog about. And I've spent the last three days studying my arss off (completed by finally finishing at 6:30 am this morning, then forgetting to give it to my professor in class...), so there's nothing there but bitching. Maybe this is just my sleepiness talking, and there's a slight likelihood that I'll have a badass post idea in about an hour and a half, but I got nothin' today.

Nothing, that is, except...

NOSTALGIC MUSIC MONDAY!!!!

In honour of his coming out party, I decided to do an oldie but goodie: She Bangs.



Oh how he fooled us all these long years with this video and many more like it. Plus, you know, the whole title thing. Still need some more nostalgia ballads, so get on that.

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Side note: I've seen this on a few blogs, and was wondering: should I do a "Best Nonsense" bar on the side of the page? Do I have enough bests to justify such a thing? Am I really just a hack, out of creative ideas and trying to live off of the successes of the past by only presenting my best stuff, instead of crappy posts like this one?

Do weigh in!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Let's Have Fun on the Internets



I've never been a late night talk show person. My parents didn't really watch Leno or Letterman when I was younger, and damn sure didn't let me stay up to watch them of my own volition. By the time I was old enough to stay up that late and watch TV, I was usually directed to the Daily Show and Adult Swim. Never had anything against them, they were just never apart of my television lifestyle.

So I surprised myself when I felt drawn to watch Conan O'Brien's last two weeks on air for the Tonight Show*. My friends had been telling me for years to watch him, that I'd love him, yadda yadda, but they were largely ignored (I did enjoy him with Stewart and Colbert during the Writer's Strike though). Still, a part of me wanted to support Conan for getting the shaft, and I was kind of interested to see how someone who knew he was getting screwed spent his last few weeks on air.

*This may seem horribly outdated, but it isn't. Promise. Just hang in there.

And let me tell you, I ate it up. I loved it and immediately regretted not watching it all along. My roommates and I watched every single backlogged episode we could find on Hulu, and watched the last few nights live. It was great, great stuff.

Then, when the last episode came along, in his opening monologue, Conan said something that was meaningful to me at the time, but 100 times more meaningful to me now.

"Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. It's my least favorite quality. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. [...] So no more cynicism; let's have fun on television!"


It was really interesting to see how many people genuinely seemed to care about the end of Conan's run, both outside and inside of the industry. He had a slew of guests all come on and tell him how much he would be missed. Neil Young thanked Conan for all he'd done for up-and-coming musicians after a great rendition of "Long May You Run." There were dozens of "I'm with Coco" rallies across America. Much of the country seemed genuinely sad to see him go.

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A few days ago, I was voraciously YouTubing when I stumbled upon this interview of the late, great George Carlin that was done a loonnnggg time ago by a (very) young Jon Stewart. Around the 9-minute mark, Stewart asks him if, after all the Emmy's and awards and accolades, it was still about the basic idea of "Hey, dig me?" Carlin reponds:

"Hey look at me, ain't I cute. {...} The job is called showing off, and if you can get them to not only stop and listen but say 'isn't he cute?' In my school we didn't have grades, so we didn't have A's, B's and C's and D's. The only A's I got, and this is a little corny, I got their Attention, I got their Approval, their Admiration, their Approbation and their Applause. And those were the only A's I wanted. And I got 'em."


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I recently just got my 1,000th page view since March 12th or so and have reached 20-some followers. The first I thought would take me months and months to achieve (even with my occasional self-clicking) and the second I doubted would ever happen (especially if I allowed this blog to taper off like all the others). I've gotten a lot of compliments about my stuff the last few weeks from people who say that the simply enjoy what I do and that all the time I put into doing these posts is at least a little appreciated, if only for a couple minutes. It still puts a smile on my face to imagine a few people each day come onto my site and let out even a small chuckle over something that I've created (though apparently they won't be doing much of that on this post....)

I've also heard a lot of stuff about the things I write and say for the newspaper and radio. I'm sure plenty of it is them simply being nice, but still, it makes me feel good. So all this got me thinking about what I want to do when I grow up (which is still, like, ten year away, right? Right??). I've never been able to find many things in my life that I'm especially passionate about. I came into college not having a clue about what I wanted to be. I liked writing, so English seemed like a good idea. One bad English class, later, I said no thanks. Then I changed to History/Political Science. Which are both things that I enjoy, but there aren't many direct career paths with either of them aside from lawyer/teacher. I don't want to be a lawyer (sorry Mom...) and don't think I'd have the patience to teach kids who didn't want to be there.

Through past experiences, I've always known that I want to be around and work with other people in whatever I decide I want to do. But now, I think I want something more: I want to be able to entertain people. I know I'll never be the next great sports writer, or write a hit best-selling novel, or become a stand-up comedian, or the next Conan, or any of that other stuff. But maybe I'll get to write for a newspaper someday. Or work as a program director for a radio station.

Or maybe I'll do something else and just keep blogging.

Point is, I want to be able to connect to people and have them connect to me, and have them say "Ain't he cute?" And if I can do that, then I know I won't be wasting my time.

"I'm not comparing myself to these people, believe me. But you wouldn't ask Picasso 'When are you gonna put those brushes down? Get rid of the canvas, you've done it!' I'm an entertainer, first and foremost, but there's art involved here. And an artist has an obligation to be en route, to be going somewhere. There's a journey involved here, you don't know where it is and that's the fun. So you're always going to be seeking and looking and going and trying to challenge yourself. So without sitting around and thinking about that a lot, it drives you and it keeps you trying to be fresh, trying to be new and to call on yourself a little more." -Carlin


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Final notes:

1) Basically, thanks to everyone who reads this, subscribers or one-timers. You make my day/week/month.
2) I feel bad for having only one picture in this post, so here's this:



3) Funny will be back tomorrow. Or whenever I post again (depends on level of procrastination).
4) I had a fourth note, but it's gone now. So, uh, thanks. Again.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Roommate Memories (The Disappearance)

I'm in a bit of a creativity lull right now (probably due to my usual midweek lack of sleep), so I'm dipping into the old memory bucket for today's gigantic photo-blog-ish post.

Before I start this post, I just wanted to ensure you all that I got permission to tell this story by the man it concerns. It's not anything disgustingly scandalous, salacious, sexy, etc, but I less than three him dearly and recognize the difference between posting self-deprecating pictures of myself and telling this story about someone else through pictures.

That, and I really, really wanted him to read this post when I finally finished it and reminisce with me.

------

CHAPTER ONE - Introduction


Back in freshman year, I had a glorious roommate.

Pictured here with a wax statue of, allegedly, Beyonce. He's the one on the left. I assume.

He is generally one of my favorite people in the world (not saying that because he'll likely read this); he occasionally guilted me into going to the gym or on a run (very, very rarely), loved exploring and video games and anime, somewhat put up with my horrifying organization/messiness, and had a wonderful blend of spaz, nut, innocent, and devious that made for the perfect college friend. He would always be the first in on a joke, including those of the practical variety. They were often fairly basic, but also genius in their simplicity. Some highlights include filling a giant move-in cart to the brim with water, then simply sending it to the ground floor and leaving it there, newspapering every inch of every single thing that I owned, and more (I'm trying to haxx Facebook right now to get a video off of it for roommate hilarity, so I'll post it if I'm ever successful....)

But generally speaking, he was the but of far, far more jokes than vise versa, particularly in the realm of jokes about his mother (our wireless internet password to this day is "*roommatename*s-hot-mom"). But one day, we decided to up the ante just a touch.

------

CHAPTER TWO - The Preparations




In the above picture is my bed, in its messy, unmade, and oddly shameful glory. Now, you may be asking, where's the joke?

Well, I think it's important to say that I had the bottom bunk.

When I left for class that day, I made sure to leave our door unlocked. In the few hours my roommate and I were gone, my three neighbors (who are now my current roommates) came into the room with tools, disassembled the bed, then hid the components in other rooms.

------

CHAPTER THREE - The Discovery


I was waiting for him when he came off the elevator (I somehow managed to make it much less creepy and obvious than that just sounded) with my camera in my pocket. I convinced him to hang outside for awhile and come talk to someone else on our floor for awhile. He eventually wandered off back to the room, and I sat back and waited for the magic to happen.

Moments later, I hear a frightened yelling of my name resonate down the hall. Here is a picture-by-picture account of what happened...



"SOFTY...SOFTY!!!!"
"Yes roommate?"
"MY BED....IS GONE..."

*runs down the hall*



In the next couple of days, he told me that in those initial moments, all sorts of possible explanations rushed through his head: he had gotten kicked out of the dorm, I had requested that he move, etc etc. Understandable, of course.

....Until he found this:


Reads: "We have your bed. Do anything rash and we will shred it into futons." A wonderful touch by the mastermind, who we'll get to in a sec.


Reality begins to set in...



And a rant begins.





Yeah, he was a little unhappy.

------

CHAPTER FOUR - The Big(ger?!) Surprise

Now, JP knew that we were all involved by this point. But he also knew that he could likely pin most of the blame, if not simply the driving inspiration, on one person, The Mastermind. Of all the jokes played on my roommate, he was at the head of at least 75% of them. Roommate stormed next door to confront him:



....Only to find that he was in class and the door was locked. And so he waited. While he did, he scrawled this on the RA's door...

"My bed was stolen. 1210. There were obviously more than one people involved. Suspect that leader was Ben P. One more thing: What the FUCK?" Obviously his Engrish skills were being effected by his trauma.

Finally, the guy was waiting for returned, knowing that my roommate was going to be....upset.



Indeed.

Anyway, roommate was certain that the pieces of his bed were in that room, and at this point was just eager to get his room back to normal. So he storms into the room.



And find nothing. He was broken.



(We did a hell of a job hiding the pieces)

------

CHAPTER FIVE - Finale


To make an already horrifyingly verbose story short, the Mastermind (Ben) reconciled with Roommate:

While Roommate was looking FABulousssss, evidently...

And we all pitched in to reconstruct the bed.


Except of course for Girlfriend, pictured below at the height of her helpfulness...



All was made well again.



And they lived happily ever after.



Baaawww....

------

Hope that wasn't too boring. At least I have four other people who will read this and enjoy the inside joke.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Nerd Alert and Radio Tuesdays (And, As Usual, More)

Okay, so as if the the world was cosmically putting me back in my place after my pseudo-manly post last night/this morning, here's how my morning has gone so far:

I roll out of bed at 6:35, after roughly an hour and a half of sleep (uuuugggghhhhh), caught the bus just in time while eating a bagel blah blah blah same old same old*. Once on board of the bus, I reached for my iPod, only to remember that I've now broken both of my headphones over the last two weeks (along with nearly my laptop and iPod itself...). So that's a no go.

*If you're really interested in what happened, read pretty much ANY OTHER RADIO POST in which I complain about how early I have to get up. Which is ALL of them.

Now I'm not one of those people who hate being around other people out in the real word. Quite the opposite in face: creepy yet sneakily people-watch is practically a profession of mine (something Hank Azaria learned the hard way). But I have an inherent fear of falling asleep on public transportation, yet a strong affinity for it. I am absolutely, positively convinced that the first time I fall asleep on the bus or train when I'm my myself* will likely be my last because I will so hopelessly lost in Chicago that I will never, ever be able to find my way back.

Or die. But that's just my sleepiness talking.

*Also, while much of my traveling on the CTA is spent with Girlfriend, I can't fall asleep even then because she has about a 95% sleep rate on, well, pretty much anything. If she really wanted to, she could likely hibernate.

AAAAnyway, I was sleepy, so I needed something to entertain me as I avoided sleep. Usually its a podcast or something, but no such luck today. So inside my backpack, I really have three options: a GameBoy Color with Pokemon Red in it, one of the books I should have had read a week ago, and the Sandman comic I bought on my comic book excursion.

Now the bus is filling up fast, and I need to make a decision before someone plops down next to me and makes my backpack nigh unaccessible. I knew damn well that if anything, the actual school work would just put me to sleep, so that was automatically out. Then I just had to judge exactly what kind of nerdiness I wanted to exude. I eventually settled on the comic book, but I'm not exactly proud of the reasoning behind it, as it only cemented my nerd-dom: I didn't remember how to do the Mew glitch in Pokemon, so I wanted to wait until I could look it up online....



You better believe it ladies.

And to wrap it all up, how did I celebrate the news that my class today was cancelled?

Why, singing along to Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog Songs* while checking the mike every 20 seconds or so to make damn sure that it wasn't hot.

*If you don't know what this is....I pity you. Jump on Netflix instant, please. My love for Neil Patrick Harris is well-documented, and much of it stems from his performance on this Joss Whedon masterpiece. He was even my Halloween costume last year:



Blog post dorkitude level: 8.9

------

Here's this week's installment of As Heard On The Radio!:

The Strokes - Hard to Explain
Cut Copy - Lights & Music
Speech Debelle - Spinnin'
The Raincoats - Lola
Happy Birthday - Maxine the Teenage
Moldy Peaches - Who's Got the Crack
Free Energy - Dream City
Fruit Bats - The Ruminant Band
The Hidden Cameras - In the NA
Dum Dum Girls - Bhang Bhang, I'm a Burnout
Dan Black - Karate Kid
Spoon - Written In Reverse
Mat & Kim - I'll Bring Us Home
The White Stripes - The Denial Twist
Love Is All - Bigger Bolder


------

One of the greatest and most obvious perks to being a volunteer at a radio station is the free music. A not-so-apparent one? Free cake brought in by a semi-big local band who wants to give you their EP. Well played, Stanley Ross. Girlfriend rewarded you for your awesomeness.

------

Finally (I promise/think), I just wanted to officially and publicly thank all you new followers out there. Through some love over at fellow blogger Patrick Tillman's site (I follow him, his link SHOULD be on the right...) and plenty of shameful self-promotion over at 20-Something Bloggers, I've managed to swell my ranks as of late. I can't tell you how much it means to me, even if I'm one of 150 blogs that you follow and never comment on any of my posts. I feel like I should make a joke about how if you really loved me, you'd tell all your friends to read my stuff, but I don't want to cheapen this lame blurb.

Much thanks, hope I can keep you sticking around.


....also, I apologize for the huge number of asterisks, change of directions, and links to former blog posts in this one. Mah bad....

Happy Mansgiving Everybody! (Plus Nostalgic Music Monday*)

*A little late. But you'll understand why shortly.

So I was originally planning on a lame Easter post (including a very funny tirade about how Peeps taste like whipped styrofoam), but decided to scrap it. Then, I wanted to make a post about the meal we were making for Easter night, but that got pushed back. And so here I am, Monday morning/Tuesday night-ish, puttin' up this post, and just barely squeaking in NMM. Plus, this is going to be semi-short, as its well past midnight and I still have to write a short article and my playlist for tomorrow to put together. Sssooo....

After much deliberation, we decided on an epic meal of epic proportions, we came up with a meal best described in a single word: Mansgiving. Here's the lineup in my first ever photo blog* -

*Warning, this might have a little bit too much testosterone in it. But I'm writing under pressure, and am entirely too tired to bring my mind out of its basic, testosterone-filled reptilian level. Mah bad.

1) Homemade onion straws.

2) NY Strip steak.

3) Mashed sweet potatoes.

4) Tossed salad (us men need our fiber too, ladies).

5) Homemade biscuits (FUCK BISQUICK, WE DO OUR SHIT THE REAL WAY).

First I started on the biscuits.



Please, if you're at work or class, try to stifle your gasps. How did we manage to create such wonderful-looking biscuits you ask? As men, we obviously don't own cookie cutters, right?

Damn right.

So (being men) we improvised. See that wonderful red solo cup in the background? I have two words for you.

Boo. Yah.

We took a leftover plastic cup from a partay we had last weekend and a few knife cuts later...



...we had a college-level, ghetto-fabulous biscuit-cutter. Hooray for cheapness!

Next we breaded and fried some onion straws, sliced super-thin:



Messy yumminess. Turning into:



mmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

In the background you see the oil and the boiling potatoes and oil. Next we move on to...um...

No more pictures until the final product?

Well what about the steaks? Or the mashing of the potatoes? Or the final biscuits?

Nothing?

Well it seems like I forgot to take more pictures. Odd, it seemed to happen right as the first batch of onion rings cooled....what a crazy random happenstance.

Well, here's the final piece of manly food glory -



So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: Mansgiving. And yes, it was totally Mansgiving, even though Girlfriend was there. Our mealtime entertainment was, naturally, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Coming to kitchens (and, in our case, living rooms) everywhere. I'm fine with those of you who jump on this holiday sensation celebration that's sweeping the nation want to celebrate it either the night after Easter or the first Monday of April. Your call, really, just as long as you credit me*.

*Scene:
Mom: C'mon kids, time to come in for Mansgiving!
Little Timmy: Hooray!!
Little Tammy: Thanks Mom, you always make the best soft nonsense Mansgiving food!
Little Sassafrass: Yeah, I'm so excited for my nachos grande with special chili nacho cheese with corndogs on top!
End scene.


------

Finally, before I work on homework finally...

NOSTALGIC MUSIC MONDAY!!!!



Now, admittedly, this mostly brings back to the summer, when my fellow orientation leaders and myself sang the song together, but it still played a large role in my own 90's child development. Be sure to watch all 7-some minutes of Meatloaf's over-the-top glory, so that you can take this wonderful "sporcle" quiz:

He would do anything, but....

First one to get the right answer and post it on the blog gets a prize!*

*Of congratulations. Maybe a shout-out, but no promises.

------

Editor's note: As manly as this post OBviously was, in order to retain my nerdy image, I'd like to point two things out: my roommates and I thought a fancy cooking blowout was a great way to spend our night, and we watched Wall-E while we were cooking. A great movie, but not particularly manly. Also, I was taking pictures to put it all on my blog.

End scene.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

VINDICATION!

Well, eat it y'all.

That's right, in addition to being an award-winning journalist (legit bitchezzzz), I am now an award-winning BLOGGER:



Drink it in. Hell, drink ME in:



Yeah, that's the stuff. One more:



Excelsior.

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In all seriousness, I was somewhat taken aback when blog-hero of mine Patrick Tillett, who routinely talks about his time in Vietnam, his time on LSD, his (MULTIPLE o_O) accidental arrests on felony charges, and general badassery. Sure, I had always secretly hoped and dreamed for one of these, but never allowed myself to dream too big*. If I ever got one, I was sure, it wouldn't be for a long, long few more months of toiling.

*I briefly (read: roughly 4 seconds) tried to convince myself that it was just a chain letter of sorts. But fuck that, I have one, so I'll mess up whoever thinks it ain't legit.

Even now, I fully recognize that Pat has already been given at least eight awards, and therefore has likely given out at least 32 awards, possibly up to 50. So I'm pretty far down the list of awesomeness. On the other hand, Pat's a fantastic blogger, so he recognizes greatness, right?

Right.

Anywho, I'm supposed to list off five random/interesting (possibly mutually exclusive?) facts about myself. Here goes:

1) I'm an avid movie freak, yet feel as though I've seen more parts of movies than actual movies.

Whenever I see a movie on TV that I've never watched before, I ask myself a) How long has it been running? If it's any more than 10 minutes then no dice. I'm in it for the whole package. And b) Is it rated R? Not because I'm a pantywaist who doesn't enjoy a good "restricted audience" movie (though I've been known to be the biggest squirmer/gasper in horror movies...), but because, once again, I'm in it for the whole package. I naturally assume all of the good stuff has been cut out, so I'm forced to skip out.

2) I have mild (completely undiagnosed and mostly made-up) OCD.

It used to be much worse back when I was little, but I still have weird little quirks about me. For example, I always try to chew the same amount of the same kind of food. So if I had 5 M&Ms, instead of eating 2 on the left and 3 on the right, you better believe that that last one is getting split in half, preferably with each side getting a red, yellow, and half a green. Or, if I'm fake-playing piano on some hard surface and one of my fingers is used less than the others, I'll feel physically uncomfortable until the injustice is rectified. Same goes with walking up stairs (I'll skip the last step if it was an uneven amount, so that each leg gets equal amount of climb-age). Not exactly Monk or Melvin Udall stuff, but still. Random/interesting.

3) My high school's football team was ranked in ESPN's top-25 at the end of the season my senior year.

4) I STILL have yet to have a real job...

So far my job experiences amount only to summer orientation-leading for my school last summer and this one, heavy volunteering at the radio station, and co-editing for the newspaper. Feel free to call me unproductive or what have you, but senior year of HS I applied to 10 jobs, and never heard back from any of them. So there's that.

5) I was an orch dork.

That's right. Before I was slappin' da bass, mon, I was elegantly bowing it. I rarely practiced outside of class (mostly due to my bad experience whilst learning piano back in the day and my general laziness) so I never really developed as well as I should have, but I somehow managed to fool a few judges* into letting me play a solo at a state competition my junior year and make the all-district orchestra my senior year. Most of my memories are of making fun of our teacher, quoting South Park in class, getting to leave early for lunch, and hitting people with the ultimate instrument (ha! that was punny) of orchestral destruction, the bass bow:



*Sexual favors may or may not have been involved.

------

Well that turned out slightly braggy. Apologies. Still, here are the five bloggers I'd like to pass the award along to:

Fleekin' Floygn - One of my oldest followers (not in age, in longevity), is at his best when telling long rambling posts containing much funny.

nostomanic - A girl whose nerdiness is on par with mine and whose awesomeness far exceeds what I can offer.

The Psychology of Video Games - A psychological look at the world of video games. Duh. One of the bloggers I featured in my feature story for the paper a few weeks back.

Wolf Gnards - Another blogger I featured on the above story, but his stuff is too awesome to not get continuously plugged.

Memoirs of a Korean - Another name that's fairly descriptive as to its subject material, has told both heartbreaking and hilarious (mostly the latter) stories about his life. Also, if you're a LOST fan, then you'll love his weekly recaps.

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And there we have it ladies and gents. I had an Easter post planned, but that will come later tonight or tomorrow before Girlfriend comes back from her extended absence. Be sure to check out those bloggers and comment!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Level Up!

On this blog, I have said many things about my life, and only barely anonymously or secretively. I don't ever use my name, but if you search for it, it's very, very easy to find. I use "Girlfriend" instead of her real name, but again, not too hard to figure out upon investigation. My readers know I work for my school's newspaper and radio station, love me some video games, watch the Food Network and Adult Swim like its my job, and enjoy YouTube videos just a bit too much.

All in all though, I think the biggest lesson learned about me in my blog is my not-so-inner nerdiness. From zombies to Scott Pilgrim (JULY 20 AND AUGUST 20 WHAT WHAT) to Star Wars/Trek reference to Nostalgic Music Mondays, I have a fair number of mediums covered (and I'm forgetting plenty, I'm sure). But I believe I officially reached a new milestone in my nerd-dom yesterday, and wanted to not only share it with my readers but also put it down in the annals of history via semi-permanant blogness.

I, soft nonsense, on Friday, April 3, 2010 went into a local, non-chain comic book store and purchased a pair of comics.

I had been planning this for a long, long time. Besides Scott Pilgrim, I've read a few other comics (Transmetropolitan, The Watchmen, Nextwave, Death of Superman), but I never quite felt comfortable adding "comic book nerd" to my arsenal of titles and labels. I wanted to truly experience going into a store, gazing at the stacks and stacks of comic books. I wanted to see the forms of heros as they did battle for justice on all their covers as I perused them.

But god damn, I had no fucking clue where to start.

After a whole mess of research on the Interwebs, hours and hours of perusing blogs and message boards and "best of" lists, I came to a conclusion: there are a shit ton of comic books out there, and pretty much everyone has a different opinion of them*.

*Like pretty much everything on the Interwebs.

So I went in with my friend/roommate, so frazzled on information that I only barely remembered what a comic book was. I was overwhelmed when I walked through the door. The tiny room roughly the size of my dorm now appeared to multiply in its size due to the sheer intimidation all of the books lining the walls brought unto my indecisive psyche.

Still, I looked around bravely, acting like I knew what I was looking for. I found titles that I recognized, but had no idea what I would want. Eventually, the awkwardness of my twelfth lap around the store outweighed my desire to....I'm not really sure. Be manly and pick out my own comic books?

So I talk to the store owner for awhile, and he suggests two books:

Batman: Year One



and...


The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

I had heard of both of them, so I basically said "Sure okay why not!" and bought them. I've only barely started reading Year One (think Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins, but in a non-movie form) and quite honestly have no clue what Sandman is about yet (a sound purchase, eh?). I'm sure I'll keep you all updated as to how they are (because I stretch for material like that), but I wanted you all to be there (mentally) for when I entered this, the next stage in my nerd life.

I'll be sure to let you know when I go to a Star Trek convention and meet William Shatner.




Oh wait, I've already done that. Shit...

Friday, April 2, 2010

Random Picture of the Day

So, two posts in one day might make up for the 4 days or so that, you know, I didn't. I kinda sorta wanted to save this for tomorrow, but it's way to awesome. For your enjoyment, the best car dashboard ever:



I'm not sure which I enjoy more: the Porn keyswitch or the magic/more magic optional package.

Catching Up (XTREME As Heard on the Radio and Fun Times With Karma)

So I am now returned from my unannounced and self-imposed Internet exile to find 30 new e-mails, 6 Facebook notifications, and half of what was going to turn out to be a massive blog post BEFORE I let it sit for a couple of days. So bear with me here.

As my loyal followers (officially into double digits WOOT) know, I've missed out on one of the few easy blog posts of my week in "As Heard on the Radio." But before I get into the X-TREME ULTIMATE THROWDOWN LOCKDOWN BALLS-TO-THA-FUCKIN-WALLS EDITION!!! of said segment, I'll tell you a wee story.

Now, I'm known far and wide as a procrastinator on a scale few could approach. I am to putting off things as Stephen Colbert is to truthiness, as James T. Kirk is to wooing women, as Keith Richards is to drugs*.

*Seriously. This guy looks like death warmed over. Practically a walking corpse. I'd say zombie, but I highly doubt zombies have the slight mental capacity it takes to do cocaine, heroin, etc. etc.

I think it's trying to wink.

Anyway, sometimes this tendency gets me in trouble, especially when it comes to homework. And that's how I got into a little pickle this week.

Long shory stort, come Sunday night, I realize that I have a 7-8 page paper in my WWI class over two books that I had not read, plus my column to write (which involved getting interviews from the school's Athletic Director, men's basketball coach, and women's basketball coach), have to sub for Girlfriend at the station (and subsequently pick out an additional TWO HOURS of music), and work on an interview/article combo for my Writing and Reporting class due at the end of the week.

So now you know why my last post was Monday.

Monday rolls around, I accidentally sleep through my first class (one of those wonderful "Let me close my eyes for 10 more seconds but then accidentally sleep for another hour" moments), throw up a blog post, only get the interview for class AND find out that my paper involving reading two books is due WEDNESDAY. Needless to say, my week is going downhill fast. That night at work, I start freaking out. Through my years as a procrastinator, I have refined the art of throwing good shit together at the last possible moment, but there was NO WAY IN HELL that I could do all that around my time at the newspaper office. After much persuasion, I e-mail my professor for an extension, know that I don't deserve one (term papers assigned the first day of class really shouldn't sneak up on people).

Then Tuesday happens, and it gets worse.

I roll out of bed bright and early, get to the station on time, have a good first set in which I get a buttload of callers:

Lou Reed - Walk on the Wild Side
Thao - Cool Yourself
The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
Tegan and Sara - You Wouldn't Like Me
Badly Drawn Boy - The Shining
The Heligoats - Fish Sticks
Adam Green - Goblin
Modest Mouse - Paper Thin Walls
Tokyo Police Club - Your English is Good
Gorillaz - Stylo
Secret Machines - Sad and Lonely
OK Go - When the Morning Comes
The Cure - Alt.End
Free Energy - Dream City
Aloha - Searchlight
Johnny Cash - Ain't No Grave
Against Me! - New Wave
e>

Then I get a call from the men's coach and an email from the AD, both answering my questions. Then I go to Writing and Reporting and find out that she is going to push back the article until next week. I come back to the station, find out that my history teacher has not only given me an extension, but a TWO WEEK extension. I do a dance of joy for the next two hours, whilst playing this stuff:

The Raconteurs - Salute Your Solution
The Dandy Warhols - Godless
Amy Winehouse - Tears Dry On Their Own
Dan Black - Alone
Dogs Die in Hot Cars - Who Shot the Baby?
Exploding Hears - I'm a Pretender
Shout Out Louds - The Candles Burned Out
Owen - Amnesia and Me
The Heavy - Set Me Free
BOAT - We Want It! We Want It!
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Conscience Killer
The Apples in Stereo - Beautiful Machine
Zeus - Kindergarten
Weezer - (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To)
Catch 22 - Supernothing
Polaris - Hey Sandy
Miracle Legion - With a Wish
Nico - These Days
Magnetic Fields - You Must Be Out Of Your Mind
Rogue Wave - Sleepwalker
Built to Spill - Big Dipper
A.C. Newman - Prophets
Mountain Goats - Going to Georgia
Josiah Wolf - Master Cleanse
The Billions - Everybody's Waiting
Let's Wrestle - We Are The Men You'll Grow To Love Soon
The New Pornographers - Myriad Harbor
The Len Price 3 - Keep Your Eyes On Me
Wild Yaks - River May Come


Then I do my contribution to the radio station's sports program (awesomely), finish one of my better columns to date, get to work on our newspaper's April Fool's issue*, and generally and genuinely put out a good product.

*Headlines include the sixth Horcrux of our school's president being found, "Local Kraken, blogger opposes lakefill parks," a piece describing the university's strategy of evening out the guy/girl ratio here - hire more construction workers, and that our nationally-ranked men's volleyball team is actually aliens.

So yeah, turned out okay.

How did it get worse you ask? Oh yeah.

Totally spilled a bunch of my parfait on the ground at lunch on Wednesday. Well, it was only the granola part of it, the yogurt and fruit was still intact and un-grounded.

Karma's a bitch sometimes....