Monday, February 1, 2010

Pick Yo Five: Man Crush Edition

Last night I was hanging out with a couple of friends, one of whom I had worked with over the summer as an orientation leader for my school, when we brought up an old work time conversation that made all three of us sit at Five Guys for two whole hours. Said conversation was the identification of our "Fives."

What are "Fives" you ask? Well, it is simply a list of your top 5 celebrity crushes. The rules:

a) Must be a celebrity currently alive and their current age. So no picking Marilyn Monroe or a Julie Andrews circa "Sound of Music."
b) Based on both looks and personality. This is a list of celebrities you would have a relationship with, not get locked into the sex dungeon of (that's a different list entirely).

And, instead of posting the boring, usual version of the list (meaning the one with females) here, by popular demand (from myself), is my man-crush list. Not people that I would straight up change teams for, but if they propositioned, it would cause me pause.

5) Matt Damon

Matt Damon was a bit off an outlier as of a few years ago. But then came his full-hearted participation in I'm F*cking Matt Damon, his rant against Sarah Palin, the chub he put on for The Informant, and his general awesomeness in movies like The Departed, The Bourne movies, and his involvement in Kevin Smith movies like Dogma pretty much make him a pretty big badass.



4) Hugh Jackman

To capture the essence of Hugh Jackman, let me just quote his Wikipedia page for you...

Hugh Michael Jackman (born 12 October 1968) is an Australian actor and producer who is involved in film, musical theatre and television.
Jackman has won international recognition for his roles in major films, notably as action/superhero, period and romance characters. He is well known from his role as Wolverine in the X-Men series, in addition to his leads in Kate & Leopold, Van Helsing, The Prestige, and Australia. Jackman is a singer, dancer, and actor in stage musicals, and won a Tony Award for his role in The Boy from Oz.

Let's break down the awesome. First, he's Australian. Sweet accent, even sweeter lifestyle. Second, not only is the guy super badass as Wolverine, but also can play a British royal AND is a Tony Award winner. I certainly love me some comic books, and I also love me some musical theater. Win.

Is Hugh Jackman going to have to cut a beyotch?


3) Brad Pitt

Does Brad Pitt ever stop getting awesome? Fight Club, Seven, and Ocean's 11 were great. Then he decides he's going to cement his awesome via Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds as Lt. Aldo Raine. Current hippie/hobo phase aside, Brad Pitt is basically all that is man.

You crazy son of a bitch you.


2) Neil Patrick Harris

Suit up indeed.

Now, it should be said the NPH is actually the only one on this list who is actually gay, and therefore would be most likely to proposition me for a long-term and beautiful relationship. But, in reality, they're all impossible long shots, so whatever.

Neil Patrick Harris won me over withDr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, (so much so that I was a surprisingly identifiable Dr. Horrible for Halloween), and re-inforces his endearing qualities every week with How I Met Your Mother as Barney the womanizer. Charming...suave...funny...the man has it all.


But while NPH has it all, the winner of the Soft Nonsense celeb man crush lottery has it all to the max.

And the lucky man...

1) Ryan Reynolds

Now I'll be truthful. My love for Ryan Reynolds (yet another Canadian...) runs deeper for anyone on either of these lists (though closely followed by NPH, which is a commentary in and of itself). After I saw him laugh and party it up in Van Wilder, I knew that I had a Hollywood role model. Then, I saw Waiting and laughed my pants off. I even saw The Proposal (a few weeks ago over winter break. My mom made me) and loved RR in it. The guy is living the dream: crazy good-looking, married to "Pick Yo Five" lister Scarlett Johannson, blogger for the Huffinton Post (his post on why he ran the NYC Marathon was a riot and oddly inspiring), and starring in not one, but TWO comic book movies (upcoming Wolverine spinoff Deadpool and The Green Lantern for sure, with the possibility of a Flash movie). Not to mention being one of the better comedic actors in Hollywood (personal opinion, but I have no remorse).

And that, my dear readers, is that.

Believe me, he's much more excited to be on this list in real life.

-Justin Long (Love him in most things that he's in, although he gets typecasted a lot. Died laughing during his role of Brandon St. Randy in Zack and Miri Make a Porno.)
-Jason Seagal (God, another person from How I Met Your Mother? Oh well. He's pretty much the best in everything he's been in the last few years.)
-Jack Black (Lots to love. Literally. JB is pretty much the guy that I would be if I did more drugs and had a little bit more ADHD.)
-George Clooney (Everyone's favorite charming, middle-aged man. He was a whisker away from making this list, but he was a bit too obvious of a choice to put him on. No offense big guy.)
-Bruce Campbell (Go horror movies.)


Hey! Look Behind You! said...

I love the less except for Damon, he never really did it for me and Pitt lost his attraction after Seven. The rest of the list is hotness. I would bang them just as much as you judgement.

soft nonsense said...

You know, looking back, I missed one, gigantic oversight in my list process.

I'm talking, of course, about Leonardo DiCaprio.

I mean, it's too late now, but he certainly would push for Matt's spot on this list, and maybe even leapfrog Hugh Jackman.

Margaret said...

Oh, NPH. I was so sad to learn I had the wrong plumbing for him.

soft nonsense said...

Wow, thanks for my first backlog comment!

No, seriously, I mean it.

And I had the same reaction to Portia de Rossi :/

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