Friday, February 5, 2010

The Biggest Thing Since Sliced Bread

Brace yourselves, ladies and gentleman of the blogging world. Big news in the world of culinary arts.

For decades, we have been suppressed. If this comes as a surprise to you, then you haven't been paying attention or that damn mass media has convinced you that what you had was what you needed, and that you should simply stand aside.

But no more.

Now, we, the American consumer, no longer have to carry out the often weekly struggle and frustration and heartbreak that this issue has lead to. No longer must we fumble, spurt, slip, or squeeze away our lives.

I am, of course, referring to the advent of the new ketchup packet.

Behold its glory.

Instead of the old-fashioned packets, in which you had to open with your teeth and needed 17 of to dress a burger and small fries, this new and improved version allows for the flexibility that is required in the busy lives of Americans today. How so you ask? Well let me tell you.

With the old packets, you hd limited distribution options. Either squirt in directly onto the food or off to the side for dipping. But no longer. Now, Heinz's new-and-improved model allows for the usual squirting:

But also for dipping!


According to the Yahoo! News article where I found this revelation, it holds three times the ketchup as a traditional packet. It seems the free market economy, in all its consumer-driven glory, has delivered (for once?). Go America.


Hey! Look Behind You! said...

I fear that once this reaches fast food places, they will be very stingy when giving them out instead of the handfuls of packets they are used to giving out. I know one should be enough for my mere small fries, but like other average Americans, I like to get as many as I can to keep in my house! Plus they look cool.

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